So I'm going to go on a bit of a rampage here! Be warned!!! Last night my sister watched my little boy while Gunter and I went out for sushi with some friends. When my sister left I opened my snack drawer to put an uneaten bar in there only to discover that she had polished off my huge chocolate bar. I have had the same chocolate bar for months and I eat a little bit every now and again. She finished it off in a few hours.
My point is that my sister is very depressed about her weight, tells me she is eating healthy, yet I find fast food wrappers in her car, she calls me with a dead car battery from the burger joint at 10pm, tells me she went out for pancakes the night before, etc, etc, etc.
Now I usually don't say much because she gets upset so easily, but last night I'd had enough. I confronted her and as always she got all upset and told me she didn't feel good, was depressed, stressed, and turned to food for comfort. My response, "I know, just you, 90% of my clients, and the other 500,000 people I work with everyday on my training website." (www.FastTracktoFatLoss.com)
My usual response to her is "I'm sorry, hang in there". This time I felt the need to crack the whip and let her know that I know the cycle all to well. Feel yucky, eat comfort food, feel guilty, eat more, gain weight, feel depressed, and start the cycle all over again. Sound familiar? I've been there, and it sucks!
So AGAIN, I offered to help my sister so that she can feel good about herself again and set a goal to reach for a wedding in HI that she is going to this June. She said I was "too busy" and she was going to bed. I told her that was just another excuse and I'd make all the time she needed. That's where the text ended.
Needless to say, I was so sad and frustrated. So my advice to all of you is to know that if you are in the same cycle that my sister is, you CAN break it. Here's three simple steps to help you:
1. COMMIT. Know that you can and will feel better if you commit to giving it your 100% for 3 months. That's enough to get amazing results and from that you will be motivated by your results.
2. GET SUPPORT. Grab a buddy, a family member, join a group or website because you will have those moments that you find yourself wanting to quit! I have an amazing website, www.FASTTRACKTOFATLOSS.com and the support, information, and community is unbelievable.
3. HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. Get up everyday and make a verbal confirmation that you are going to have a good day, you will feel good, and do the best that you can. Sounds crazy, but it really helps
Thanks for listening!! I'll keep you posted on the "sisterly love" updates!
True confessions...is anyone in this cycle? I have been there in a bad way, I know how it feels! Reach out, I would love to help you!
I soooo needed to hear this! Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I am the only emotional eater out there. It is good to know I am not. It is such a tough cycle to break! I am home with three little kids and I wish I didn't turn to the food when I need some comfort. It sometimes just gets so hard to be a high achiever in every area of my life - being a good wife, mother, friend and taking good care of my health. Sometimes I just want a break. It takes a lot of mental energy to stay on the top of my game!
ReplyDeleteYour sister is crazy not to take you up on your help, but people can only make these changes when they are ready. Hopefully she will come around.
Thanks for the post. It will help motivate me to step back up to the healthy eating plate:) My husband and I have a trip planned to Las Vegas in April (our first without the kids!) and I want to drop those last 10 pounds by then and go feeling great!
Wow! I cannot believe with you as a sister she cannot break out of her cycle and get motivated?? Does she realise how lucky she is and so many people out there would LOVE to be in her shoes. She needs to want to do it but it sounds like she keeps making excuses not to.... Now, off to check out your website!
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog by the way, I check it daily :0)
Must be hard to be your sister..I can imagine..you're something to live up to!
ReplyDeleteGood thing you are there for her, she should be grateful!
Love your comments gals! Means the world to me! Keep em coming, I'm listening and will keep bringing you good bits of info!
ReplyDeleteAt one point my boss told me to "take it away from my client" as in take my training away from her. She wants me back now. She calls, emails, etc. But she hasn't won me back yet because I don't know that she is really committed. You could try taking your "services" away from her. It's hard.. it's really hard because she is your sister so you care about her on a deeper level. I am going through it with a friend of mine. It's unbelievably frustrating so I'm going to try this tactic with her. I wish you luck. Keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who is in your sister's shoes right now...the first step is the hardest. You know you have a problem but you feel too ashamed to admit it...even ashamed to ask for help. I am certain your sister is grateful for your offer of help, but sometimes help needs to come from someone other than family. Maybe this is something that she needs to do without your "direct" help...so she can find her own inner strength.
ReplyDeleteAfter my pleas for help went unanswered by family and friends I turned to an online community. I posted one blog and got seven encouraging comments. All from people I didn't even know. How fantastic is that? People who don't even know each other reaching out to lift one another up when one stumbles. Maybe this is the kind of start your sister needs. The kind of start that begins with a quiet "I need help."
One last thing...sunshine. Tell your sis to slap on the sunscreen and enjoy the sunshine. It helps lift the gray cloud of depression. Have a beautiful day!
Hey Kim- I know this is an older post, but I just discovered your blog today. I used to be a lot like your sister, but I finally had enough, did the hard work and lost 90 pounds!
ReplyDeleteOn the downside, I have a friend who is morbidly obese and pushing 40. I have offered several times to help him lose weight, but he just doesn't commit. I give him workout DVDs to borrow, healthy cookbooks to try and offer my own free time to help him transition into eating better and working out. Yet he still sits on the couch watching TV in between fast-food trips.
Any advice on a better way to approach this? Tough love? Or should I just back off and leave him alone until he decides he's ready to change? I'm currently studying to become a CPT and have become very passionate about health, so it's hard to ignore his struggles. He's often depressed and complains about his weight and it's so frustrating to see someone I care about not recognizing his potential and shortening his own lifespan... Anyway, thanks for posts- I look forward to reading more in the future!